


stop, smell the roses (or whatever these are)

by intrikate88



Series: A Million Ways to Die in the Multiverse [2]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Episode: e060-066 The Stolen Century Parts 1-7, Families of Choice, Gen, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-03
Updated: 2017-10-03
Packaged: 2019-01-08 10:37:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12252621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intrikate88/pseuds/intrikate88
Summary: Another year, another crew member departs a little early. (Spoilers for Stolen Century.)Cycle #35: Taako was going to write a cookbook. Well. HE wasn't going to write it, obviously.





	stop, smell the roses (or whatever these are)

Cycle #35

*  *  *

About twenty seconds passed in silence as they looked down at Lucretia’s corpse before Taako said, “Well, _fuck_.”

“Fuck,” Magnus agreed. 

“No, she was going to write a cookbook with me and Lup, we already got a publishing deal,” Taako added. “I mean, yeah, this sucks, definitely, I’m aware of that. But she’ll be back in eight months, she’ll be fine, and I’ll have lost out on this book!”

Magnus looked down at him. “She’s _dead_ , Taako,” he said, in the slow, patient tone usually reserved for people repeating to small children that the dog went to be happy on a farm upstate. “Our friend, Lucretia, just died, a minute ago.”

“Yeah, _I was here_. It’s not like it’s her first time, and she was the one who stuck her face in a venomous flower! Everything’s poison here, that’s why the cookbook was going to be so great!”

Magnus sighed. “She really did want to study all the plants,” he remarked, crouching down and gathering her body into his arms; she was not a particularly short woman, but she looked small, cradled against his chest. “She’s gonna be disappointed when she comes back and she missed out.”

Taako reached out with his wand and poked some leaves away that Magnus had picked up as well, and picked up the bag of Lucretia’s books and supplies, swinging it over his shoulder. He did, at least, have the decency not to complain about having to carry the bag, or perhaps just didn’t want to be told what the alternative would be. As they started heading back through the forest towards the ship, Magnus said, “Why don’t you just write your cookbook yourself? It’s not like you’re going to get any more gold pieces from it than Lucretia will in eight months.”

“God, no,” said Taako, letting out what may have been a groan but sounded more like a deflating seal. “That sounds like _work_."

**Author's Note:**

> If you've read another fic in this series, "eight arms of doom", you're already familiar with the concept here: at some point, this crew knows that nothing is permanent, and if one of them dies, well, they'll be back for the next round. Is it weird? Yes! Is it emotionally healthy? Probably not! Is it funny? Sometimes, DEFINITELY. 
> 
> So welcome to this series. Everyone dies, like, A LOT.


End file.
